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10 reasons why Google’s music timeline sucks

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First, in case you missed the hype throughout all the blogosphere you should check Google’s new music timeline. It has a beautiful visualizations and stuff.   Seriously it will blow your mind.

Having said that, my parents always told me don’t judge a book by its cover. Even if this cover is pretty damn awesome it can be really pretentious trying to map all the music genres in the world. But who would notice you ask? It’s an ungrateful job but someone has to do it!

1. Indie Music – the definition for indie music can be quite elusive. According to Wikipedia, Indie music (derived from the word independent) produced independently from major commercial record labels or their subsidiaries. Let’s have a reality check for part of the bands on Google’s list:

Muse – Warner Bros.

Linkin Park – Warner Bros.

Fall Out Boy – Island Records (they had Justin Bieber as well)

Pretty Indie, right?

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 2. Britpop– according to Wikipedia Britpop bands positioning themselves as opposing musical forces, referencing British guitar music of the past and writing about uniquely British topics and concerns. While some major influential bands such as Elastica and Sleeper are missing, we can find some random bands that their only connection to Britain is their hometown. Are bands as Coldplay and Keane really relevant in here? They could write their songs in Mexico and it probably won’t matter. Britpop is not only a geographical genre, it’s a cultural movement and let me rephrase the infamous Groucho Marx quote: “I refuse to join any club that would have Coldplay as a member”.

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3. Punk – I know that Fall Out Boy, The Offspring and Nofx are technically considered as punk bands. But to put them on the same line with the Ramones and the Clash? What a sacrilegious act.

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4. Metal – can you connect the dots between the following bands: Led Zeppelin, rage Against The Machine, Incubus and Korn? Perhaps Electric guitars? I rest my case.

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5. Chrisitan/Gospel – I consider Owl City as the really bad version of The Postal Service. Call it Indietronica, call it teenagers pop but Christian/Gospel? Hell no!

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6. Techno – Maybe in another parallel universe Moby is a Techno musician but not in my world, to say the least.

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7. Vocal/Easy Listening – I dare you to play Serge Gainsbourg’s songs for your next family gathering. It is sleazy, it’s sophisticated and it sometimes can be overwhelming. Easy is probably not the best adjective to describe it.

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8. Disco – disco one was a legitimate genre. Aqua was never a legitimate band and it’s not disco for crying out loud!

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9. World Music – it’s hard to define World Music without being Ethnocentric. Let’s put it that way – you can somehow tag Bob Marley’s music as world music just because he came from Jamaica. It’s half legitimate but it’s still acceptable. But what about Matisyahu? He was born and raised in the USA so what’s the point in here? Perhaps maybe he was an orthodox Jew? Only god knows.

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10. Last but not least – there is no option to search by genre. How can I find now my favorite music genre? :-(

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crying man gif

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